Constipated Chains

Being a person of with a certain degree of notoriety I am prone to get a lot of e-mails from different quarters. While gmail has helped keep the spams separated from my regular mails, the amount of chain mails I receive from my many friends fall within a group by themselves.

Many of the chain mails (for those who don't know these are the types which have been forwarded by the sender who had the same forwarded to them and so on, and also the mail asks to be forwarded by the receiver) I receive contain some good and interesting photos, information, videos etc. which are worth a lookover atleast once.

But among these there are some which proclaim to change my future, past or present if or if I don't forward them on immediately to some 'n' number of required individuals (friends). And the things these mails contain and the things they promise are well... I have limited words for them !!
Many of them proclaim to be helping some poor victim of something or the other. e.g. a single mother who has a child suffering from some life threatening disease, a person at some remote end of the world suffering from the same type of diseases, a person who may have suffered some grave injustice. All these people claim to get my help if and only of I pass on or rather in e-terms forward them to more people.

Some of these are of the type which judge my patriotism towards my country, some challenge my manhood, some my ability to "socialise" among the female population etc. etc. depending upon the number of people I've forwarded the mail to...!!

A tad bit more interesting are the type which promise me good luck and a good future invoking some God's miracles and blessings if I forward them promptly to the requisite number of people and promise to get the curse of the same Gods if I don't do so..!! An example of such a horribly funny mail had the very first line of the mail as - "Now that you have opened this mail, it is better to know that this mail is cursed. If you don't forward and then delete this mail the curse remains with you. And if you delete this mail without forwarding, the curse would fall on you anyway"...!

A recent type of such brilliant mails seem to take science and miracles to their limits and I would rank them first in the line of all chain mails. These mails first declare in bright glowing words that they work for sure . Next they ask you whether you want to know the names of all the people who've had a crush on you (in-fact these mails are called as the crush detectors). The incredible way to do so is to forward the mail to the requisite number of people and the immediately press F6. And then follows the inevitable line - "If you don't forward this mail and/or delete it then you'll remain a bachelor for 'n' number of coming years (sometimes for eternity ! ), and if you forward it you'll receive a phone call from your long desired sweetheart within an hour of your sending the mail" !!
Yeah...! Right...! :D :D With the availability of computers everywhere around I fail to grasp the fact, that with such a miracle mail, how come "lover's columns" for the aching hearts are still flourishing in some of the well known national newspapers!!

As an answer to all these chain mails I have just one reply... the following video...





Or else you are welcome to check the following link... for a better view (better quality) of the video of course !

http://www.toilette-humor.com/flash-cartoons/Leave-me-alone/leave-me-alone.shtml


Good Luck Everyone !!

A Dog's Life

Hello everyone...

It seems one of my humans have left the computer alone and switched on. Let me take this opportunity to take a peep at the going-ons in the world and while I am at it I'll also let you have a peek at my day to day life. But I must be fast else someone may come up and shoo me away !!

Hi.. I am Tintin the Dog. Son of Toffee the Bitch. I am a Deutscher Spitz. Ever heard of it? Hey you are on a computer yourself. Go ahead and google it..!!

My day begins early every morning when "nature calls" and I have to attend to it ! Of course, since I can't open the house doors myself I have to give a wake up call to my Human mistress. How do I do it? Bark bark, woof woof, hoowwl of course...! My mistress is like my mother. In the words of Garfield the cat ' She's not only my owner but also my primary care giver' ! I even call her like the humans kids do - O ma, Aw ma, Ow ma... Don't believe me.. ?? Then you should hear me yourself !!

Anyway, she gets up and opens the doors for me and while I get busy with attending to the calls of nature, she herself gets busy at her own works. A very very busy lady she seems to be. Her pups (or do they call them kids).. are a rather lazy lot. They still like to have a late lie in. These two fellows don't seem to believe in the words - Early to bed and early to rise makes a dog healthy, wealthy and wise. I believe it works for them humans too. Well let them sleep. I have my own daily businesses to attend to! My first task in the morning is to see that there are no pesky birds (especially crows) near the house.. If I see them anywhere nearby, I let them hear what my angry voice is like.. bow wow wow...wow wow wow wow....!! My human ma doesn't seem to like this and I hear an admonishing 'Tintin' from inside the kitchen where she seems to be working.


Well after a while I hear some shuffling of feet and dragging of sandals inside and I know that the elder human kid has woken up and for sure, I see him come up to his mother drying his wet face (I wonder how he wet it in the first place, silly isn't he?). After a moment of sitting around he joins his mother in her tasks and so to help her. As for me I am content with observing the beautiful nature outside especially the frolicking mongrel pups I see downstairs, belonging to a black mongrel bitch.


Time pass by and a little later I find my breakfast in front of me, my human Ma gives it to me ,ofcourse, although sometimes the elder kid does it. And what is in the bowl? Yum my favourite... Chicken wings with yummy crunchy bones and rice with gravy. Too rich for a breakfast you ask? Nah.. that's what I like for my food and its just right. Sometimes for a change I'm given Milk with rice and sugar, or if my human Ma's been out shopping I'm treated with a whole pack of rich Yoghurt ! I don't like cooked vegetables much (in fact at all.. unless they are deep fried !) and would not touch them unless otherwise they are raw. I love munching raw vegetables like carrots, lady fingers, gourds and beans and would pester my human Ma for them, if I find her chopping them ! I have a habit of feigning uninterest at the food by looking away while its being served but my nose works vigourously so as to ascertain that its my favourite food alright. And while no one's looking there's no one to stop me from slinking to the food bowl and gobble down the food!!

After sometime my human Ma seems to dress up and leave the house for somewhere not to return for the whole day. Even though I want to accompany her she never takes me along. I used to show my interest of accompanying her by barking and howling at her, at first, but now I have given it up as a futile cause. So there ..she goes away and I have to be content with looking down at her from the balcony till the time she disappears inside a white moving thing...

After this my only companions for the day are the two human kids. While the younger one still sleeps, the elder one seems to move around the house in circles like a crazy fellow, untill he settles down on the living room divan, with something they call as a book and sits there like a statue with it for a long long time. Lazy fellow I would call him. Whoever heard of someone sitting in one place all day when there's so much to do around. And I know what he's upto... a look at his eyes would confirm that he's feeling drowsy and if you wait a while longer you'll promptly see him slide down to a sleeping position with the book still in his hands ! This may change on certain days when he too follows his mother out of the house or may even leave the house himself like his ma, to be absent for a good part of the day. Quite a useless fellow ain't he?

And I am left to myself. I normally wander round and round the house looking for anything that are not supposed to be present inside the house. Like lizards for example. Those geckos on the walls are my prime enemy. Oh.. only if I were any taller I would have torn them from their walls and minced them..!! But alas even all my barkings and howlings and growlings wouldn't make them go away. Even if I draw the attention of my humans towards those ugly geckos, they are not even bothered to remove them, let alone shoo them away..! Whoever heard of humans liking lizards? 

Watch me trying to catch a tail-less one... !

 But there you go! I occasionally take a walk through the balconies to ensure there are no cats or birds around.


Talk about cats.. I simply hate them. The first time when I saw a cat, I didn't know what to do with them. But when that very cat scratched me, all my natural instincts against those felines came out and now if I see a cat, could anyone stop me from tearing them if they come within my reach??!!

Now and then a puppy's yelp would bring me rushing to the balcony. These are the puppies of the black mongrel bitch. I like to see them play. But the poor things are constantly harassed by some weird human kids, who in the name of playing with them, cause them more hurt I feel !

As noon approaches the younger human kid wakes up and starts throwing orders around in the wind. But there's no one to heed those orders as I am sure the elder kid ignores them as well as I do! Weird fellow this younger kid is... He seems to work on his computer till late night and only sleeps at that time of the night when ghosts start to party. And all day he's busy by himself too!

Now that they are both up I hope they'll play with me. I go and nudge them for the same; but all I get in return are a few scratches behind my ears and a belly rub by the elder kid who ignores me afterward, and from the younger a bit more back rubs and belly rubs and behind the ear scratches and that's all. Don't they know that I am bored and want to frolick around the house? I want a ball to play with but heaven knows where I kept it the last time... So now there's nothing left for me but to sleep around.

But my sleeps are disturbed ones. Them puppies start yelping or a crow starts cawing outside and I have to get up and run out to ascertain that everything is alright. Sometimes a pair of pesky cats start fighting outside. That's when my rage boils up and no one can stop me from howling.

And suddenly my back starts itching... now my ears.. now my rump... and while I try my best to scratch those itches away, new ones start and they culminate on my tail... Ah the tail.. difficult thing to get at. I run and I run but the darned tail seem to get away farther... the day is conquered if I get my tail !!

want to see an example... here it is..

Saw it?? Well there you go... A dog's life's hard !

Afternoon.... I am awakened and the elder kid places my food bowl infront of me again. Yes... Time for lunch... Fare? Why.. Chicken wings with crunchy bones and rice with gravy...(sometimes its milk with rice) what more could I want!!

After lunch its time for siesta... Oh wait .. I forgot.. during and after my lunch if the humans are eating their food, I normally like to hang around. Chances of getting tidbits couldn't be let gone.. Siesta times for me are peaceful. Stomach's full and no amount of cat fights, crow caws or puppy yelps could stir me.

Near evening when I wake up, I prick my ears for all familiar sounds outside. I know that its time for my human Ma to return. And there she is. I almost vacuum her clothes trying to get a smell of where she's been the whole day and all the while trying to differentiate a new smell from her clothes. You should listen to my happy yelps and barks and howls when I see her.

And then a little later my exceptional hearing ability makes me hear a sound... a sound which is very important to me.. I know it well. Is it? Is it? Why yes, it is the sound of the elder kid dressing up... He's going out. Time for my evening walk! My excitement knows no bounds. I stand on my hind legs. I yelp, I bark, I yodel for heavens sake and even start jumping up and down!! All this so that he wouldn't forget about me or leave me behind. 

Watch me Jumping about in Joy below...! 

I like my evening walks. Not only it brings me close to the nature, it also helps me stretch my legs and sniff open air but also occasionally (well always) lets me manure the earth!! Moreover it helps me get aquainted with all kinds of canine breeds out in the streets. Some of them uselessly bark at me, some try to be friends with me... but mostly I ignore them. But if one of  those doggies have a German ancestry, like the German Shepherds (alsatians), Dachshunds or other Spitzes like me... I strain hard on my leash to go near and meet them !

Back from my walks, I 'settle down' to my rounds around the house. Sometimes searching for those adamant lizards on the walls, sometimes following the humans around or else I just it outside the kitchen where my human Ma cooks dinner and I sniff the delicious smells ! Sometimes during evening hours I hear some huge bang-crash-bangs which seem to come from outside. I am frightened by these dreadful sounds and cower and hide under some bed. The Human call these bangs-bangs "Marriage baraat bands" or "Diwali crackers", I call them inhumane and cruelty to animals :(


After dinner (same fare as breakfast or lunch again..!) I find I could keep my eyes no longer open. So along with the humans I find my way to my bed too ( an unused bed-cover folded over...and recently a totally new stuffed mattress, just for me... thoughtfully provided for by my human Ma). And with that ends my day....

So if you ask what I do the whole day, since I wake up till the time I go to sleep..? Its nothing but chase around birds and lizards, eating, sleeping, frolicking a little, eating, sleeping, evening walk, eating and sleeping again !!!!

Hey its pretty much about nothing... Siiiiggghhhhhh....!!!

That's what they call a "dog's life" I guess !

See you again later. Have to go now.

With regards from Tintin the dog.

Bye Bye.. Bow Wow..

Innocence of Humans and Rituals

I have always been fascinated with origins of things and occasionally their originality. I have been lucky to have a highly philosophical mother with a great knowledge of local focklores and philosophies.

Well being a human and a member of one of the world's oldest human religious community I have to occasionally conform to, adhere to, be a part of and also am supposedly supposed to believe in many rituals. But then again how did and when did such rituals origin?? An interesting question isn't it??

Well as I said, my religion - Hinduism, is an old one. Some of the rituals which are a part of it, like taking a bath regularly for instance, have been thought of and applied to by sages and saints of old, who I am sure were very right. Why not? In such a hot country, adding Bath as a ritual to religion meant that Hindu people atleast would stay nice and fresh everyday !!
But then again some of the rituals that we people follow seem mindless and useless to me...
Which ones you ask? Well I'm not answering that one because I may inadvertently hurt someone's sentiments - has happened before. So be a judge yourself. And moreover I'm not deprecating or deriding my religion, its just my individual viewpoint on some particular thing.

Anyway... these useless rituals... my idea is they must have arose from people's own innocence among many causes. Let me relate a story -told by my mother, who in turn heard it from my grandmother, sometime ago. You'll be able to judge the above statement yourself...


Once in a village in India a person passed away. On the 13th day the Brahmin priests were praying for the deceased soul's peace and vindication in Heaven (a ceremony known as Shraddhha in Sanskrit) , as per Hindu rituals. During these rituals as per custom a large offering of milk and milk-products were displayed as offering (among many other stuff) for the deceased soul's "benefit" (for his afterlife). The dead man's son was busy along with the priests in various ritualistic works. In between all this, a cat, probably belonging to the household itself was attracted by the offerings of milk and constantly tried to taste the stuff. The brahmins and the man's son were thwarting the cats plans but it was persistent in its task. After a while the son became angry and ordered the servants to get rid of the cat.

The servants in their turn decided to tie the cat with a string to a pomegranate tree growing on the very courtyard where the ceremony was taking place among all the other offerings kept there (apart from the milk and milk products stuff such as clothes, utensils, umbrella, bedding etc.etc. .... things that would be required by a deceased soul in the afterlife)!!!

Now the deceased person's grandson (5 or 6 yeasr old) was witness to all this drama, and naturally it left a lasting impression on his young mind !

Some years later it was the turn of the man's son to pass away and the day came for the ritualistic day of vindication. It was now the turn of the grandson to follow the rituals. As usual the Brahmin priests were brought and they began preparing everything for the prayer service and gave the list of the "to be made" offerings to the grandson, who had by now reached manhood. The grandson after looking over the list promptly asked the priests "everything here's alright, but where's the cat and the pomegranate tree?" The surprised priests declared their ignorance of such a ritualistic offering. On which the grandson replied "Well gentlemen, in our household its a custom and a ritual to tie a cat to a pomegranate tree as an offering during a deceased person's vindication(shraddhh) ceremony. I myself witnessed it as a fact during my grandfather's vindication ceremony and there's no way I'll allow the ceremony to go on for my father without that particular detail"... !!!

Now of course the grandson's house did not have either a cat nor a pomegranate tree growing on its courtyard.
Hence as a substitute they caught hold of a stray cat and tied it to a pomegranate branch which they planted in the courtyard where the ceremony was to be held, and the rest of the ceremony proceeded as usual !!!

And believe it or not, as a ritual and a custom that particular "detail" became a part of the vindication ceremonies for generations in the original deceased man's family !


Its up to the reader now to decide that whether the fact is true or not. Rituals like rumors arose out of Human beings' innocence among many causes !! I believe that almost all of them have innocence as the primary cause - human beings are born innocent. They learn what they see, what they are taught, what they experience... so its after all natural for habits becoming rituals, thoughts becoming rituals and some weird and unscientific things becoming rituals and customs.